Football

It’s just one big black ball and all you do is kick,
Just hit the ball and expect a to get a pic.
And when you get tackled you just become unsturdy.
When you slide on the floor you just get yourself dirty,

So when you shoot, you always score,
After all, people only play so they don’t become poor.
They get paid a ridiculous amount of money,
And when they miss it’s just so so very funny.

Now its a free kick and they do such a dumb run up,
Then when they finally take the shot it’s just one big mess up.
Its like if someone like Ronaldo and he misses a shot,
None of them say that it was just one big flop.

Now its a keepers mind them thinking they’ve saved it,
But what they’ve only gone and done is miss the easiest bit.                                                                                                                       So when they kick it it’s somehow miles away,
Then when they get it back they have a massive price to pay.

It’s now the striker like Gary Birtles,
And when he’s on the ball it’s just a daylight crises,
So when he gets the ball he just goes and dismisses it.

Now it’s the defender like Taro Silva,
He’ll barge you out the way the you’ll say I shouldana.
He’ll just dent your arm and push you away.

You get those fast players who are not always good,
They only score sweaty goals and were born int the hood.
But other players are just speed demands.

When they header how don’t they hurt their heads?
Because the ball is rock solid,
And their heads always look like they’ve just been polished.

The Alleyway

It was one bright day with people strolling to the kirk. I spake to my mum and asked why is everyone so moody. She quoth saying I do not ken. There had to be a problem. Once the church service hath finished I asked the priest if he noticed everyone’s downfall of happiness. He quoted, “Yes I did. I thought that I was the only one who realised”. When I left the church everyone went into the exact same alleyway. I decided not to follow incase something bad happened. A week has passed and everyone is back to normal on the lovely Sunday morning. When I was starting to think that everyone was fine, they went back to being moody. They were just moody like usual. After the service, they all went to the same place as last week. This time I knew that it was always right to follow them into the alleyway. I made sure that I keep a fairly long distance away from them. They all then turned a corner in dead silence in a line…                   Another week has passed and I know wait for the service to finish. This time during the service, none of the usual people were there. A new group of moody people joined. I did the same as last week. I followed them into the same alleyway and this time went all the way round the corner. This was a big mistake. A huge figure was killing the moody ones. When I came running back to my mum she asked why are you sweating. I said to her you have to see this. Straight away she asked why is there a massive shadow behind that corner. Twas too late, by the time we got there, there were just a pile of dead bodies laying down one on top of the other. The massive hooded figure said “Your next”. I was probably more scared than my mum because I was the one being targeted. We both ran round the corner and never went there again until one day. It was the brightest Sunday I have ever seen the sun was out and blue skies. The weather  channel forecasted to be hottest Sunday of the year. Although that day was the hottest i have ever experienced, I felt like the most dismalled boy alive. So that Sunday I was strolling away from my house to church. During the church service i felt really sad. It was until the device had finished when i felt attracted to darkness. There was this lovely strange alleyway that was nice and dark so walked through it. I looked back and saw a huge line behind me with my mum right behind. I was the first to see the giant axe. I stepped forward. I couldn’t control myself. It was only a few more seconds until the enormous axe was lifted above me and…  That was the end of my fun and games.

1. Quoth – Said (used only in first and third person singular before the subject).
2. Spake – (Old English)  past of speak.
3. Kirk –  A Scottish word meaning a church, or more specifically, the Church of Scotland. Many place names and personal names are derived from it.
4. Mast – A tall upright post, spar, or other structure on a ship or boat, in sailing vessels generally carrying a sail or sails.
5. Bassoon – A bass woodwind instrument of the oboe family, with a doubled-back tube over four feet long, played with a double reed.
6. Hath – (Old English) third person singular present of have.
7. Dismal – Causing a mood of gloom or depression.
8.  Ken – One’s range of knowledge or understanding.
9. Ghusht – (Old English) of a liquid flow out of something in a rapid and plentiful stream.
10. Helmsman – A person who steers a ship or boat.
11. Bemocked – A transitive verb referring to the act of being mocked.
12. Attire – Clothes, especially fine or formal ones.
13. Pawing – Of an animal feel or scrape with a paw or hoof.
14. Swound – Is defined as the act of fainting.
15. Ere – Before (in time).
16. Descern – Recognise or find out.
17. Penance – Punishment inflicted on oneself as an outward expression of repentance for wrongdoing.
18. Cast – Throw (something) forcefully in a specified direction.
19. Twas – It was.
20. Ghastly – Causing great horror or fear.